Arguing with liberals

Arguing with liberals is like playing chess with a pigeon.
I can be the worlds best chess player but the pigeon will just knock over the pieces, poop on the board, and strut around like it accomplished something.

I got the bulk of this joke from a post on 9gag and just modified it to fit my agenda.

Algebra joke

Where do zero's go when they're stuck on top of each other?

L'hopital.

Cigarettes are like hampsters

Perfectly fine until you stick one in your mouth and light it on fire.

Heard this from my roomate who heard it from will ferrell.

When life gives you....

When life gives you melons, you're probably dyslexic.

I did not come up with this. It is property of the original creator. Nor do I discriminate against dyslexics.